Part 4: Scootin’ around Hội An

-Following our 7 day adventure in the north, we moved onto the 2nd leg of our trip. The central coastal city of Hội An. This town is known for its preserved ancient architecture and its tailors. To say its a tourist town is an understatement but nonetheless still an amazing place. Our home base was the Tribee Bana Hostel. Literally the nicest hostel any of us had stayed in. The first two days we spent wandering, eating, relaxing, and drinking. I took the opportunity to get a 3 piece cashmere wool suit and shirt tailored for a whopping $300.  

-On the third day we used the Hostel to rent the local bike of choice. 3 small displacement scooters (2 hondas and a yamaha). After acquiring the scoots we headed to the beach to dip our toes in the South China Sea. Right away we were having too much fun on these things. No clutch or ground height to worry about, we zipped around traffic like we were pros. We can see why the locals choose scooters over motorcycles. It’s just easier and lighter to maneuver through Vietnamese traffic. The beach was a nice white sand and the water just right. There were traditional basket boats laying on the beach as well as a few westerners out for the morning sun. We all got our feet wet but visibility was poor due to a morning fog rolling in off the water.

-Back on the scooters, our goal being the Hải Vân Pass, we went around the main city of Da Nang. The coolest thing we saw going this way was large temple with a towering pagado and statue. Not long after that we reached the pass. Being used to these roads by now we were taken aback by the size and great condition of the road. The congestion was quite heavy with busses, and tourists on the back of local operated single cylinder cruiser motorcycles all racing for the top. We did not let that deter us. As far as we were concerned we were the fastest fuckers on two wheels and everyone was left in our dust. The scooters became our rocket ships to the top of the world conquering one twist after another.

-We neared the apex of the pass and were swallowed alive by a thick soupy fog. Giant ancient fort ruins stood like rotting sentinels in the wind and fog. Our first choice of parking was by the coffee shops known to harass all tourists senseless. They did not disappoint. We moved the scooters by the ruins and explored, losing sight of each other within a few yards of separation. After getting our fill of the eerie ruins we realized we needed to fill our stomachs. The ride down was just as thrilling, if not more. Jake went for it on his Yamaha. There were 3 riders on modern large displacement bikes, all leathered to the nine passing us on the way down. Two Kawi’s and a Super Duke, if I recall correctly. Seeing such large bikes was a pleasure as they are very rare here. Especially the Kawasaki’s.

-We ran parallel with the beach all the way into Da Nang and stopped for fried rice with seafood. I have to say this was one of the most interesting services we received for lunch. The staff hovered over us like hawks and made the paranoid android inside of me feel uncomfortable. Aside from that I thoroughly enjoyed the food.

-After lunch we continued on  through Da Nang to the Marble Mountains. Rolling up to the base of the mountains caused some unneeded stress as everybody ran out demanding you park in their spots. One woman even went as far as to follow us on her scooter demanding “You park now!”. Here is the only time I lost my cool on this trip and let her know I knew we had to park. We eventually did haggle some cheap parking and made our way to the entrance to the mountains. Dodging the screams of the vendors demanding “YOU BUY NOW!”. They are pretty heavy handed in their selling tactics in this area.

-The Marble Mountains are five limestone and marble hills jutting out of the landscape like sore thumbs. Only one, Thủy Sơn, is open to tourists. Here we explored buddhist shrines, grottos, pagodas,  and climbed all the way to the summit allowing us a wide panoramic view of the Da Nang area. It was well worth the hassle gauntlet we faced getting to the mountains. After the long climb down, we relaxed at the marble shop were we parked the scooters. The proprietor was a very nice woman who couldn’t believe I would waste money on my tattoos. To each their own.

-The ride back to Hội An was short so to get our money’s worth ($7) out of the scooter rental, we veered off onto the ever familiar concrete roads splitting the rice paddies. This road eventually ended and we found ourselves off road again. One last time for good measure.

-The sun was setting and it was time to return the scooters. We dropped them off and walked back to out hostel to relax before taking on the night market and all the street food it had to offer. Hội An did not let us down.

-I want to end this with my many thanks to Jake and Radke for joining me in this adventure. When I posed this trip they were both on board right away. No hesitations. Their enthusiasm and eagerness to explore and never say no to anything thrown there way was just as inspiring as the wild lands we rode through. I couldn’t have asked for two better travel partners. I think the big question to end with is, where to next boys?

Part 3: Cao Bằng to Hanoi

Day 5: Quảng Uyên to Bản Giốc waterfalls

-I got up before the roosters today and not cause I wanted to. A bit of the old ultra violence erupted in my stomach that brought me to the knees of the great porcelain god. There was no returning to sleep, and I could feel a fever creeping in. Nausea came to play, too. When the guys woke up I filled them in on the bad news. There was no way I could get on a bike today. Sadly I would have to miss the main thing I wanted to see on this trip, the Bản Giốc waterfalls. Luckily we were booked in this homestay for 2 nights so I could lay around and recover while not botching our schedule. That’s my special brand of shit luck. I instantly assumed I was suffering from an infection due to my wound, but after putting a few texts into Dr. Ben “Cool Jerk” Whitfield, he assured me that it was probably just a case of traveler’s diarrhea. Thanks again for being on call Ben! I burrowed into my bed to shiver, sweat, shit, and sleep the whole day while the guys hit the road.

**Since I missed the whole day, Jake will be taking over to fill you guys in on that day’s escapades.**

-Radke and I escaped the sickness that was plaguing Nate so like good friends, we carried on without him. And without Nate’s knee holding us back, we tore it up off-road again. Tan was into creek crossings. He’d take them even when there were other, easier options.  After ripping through alleyways through small mountain villages and back out through the rice paddies, we popped out at the Ngườm Ngao Cave. According to legend, a tiger used to live there, but all we saw were bats.

-After lunch and a short wait for the rain to pass, we rode up to the Bản Giốc Falls. These falls are right on the China – Vietnam border and there’s been controversy about that border as recently as 2009. Tan explained that officially, you had to get on a list to go see these falls and the process took forever. But if you put some dong in your passport when you presented it at the entrance, your names can get on the list just like that.

-Some picnickers at the falls lured us in with beer, then went in for the selfies. We hung out with them and shared some food and small talk through google translate.

-Radke requested that we take the long way back to the home-stay, and I’m glad he did. Tan’s method for finding off-road routes was to pick a small path that went off the main road, then pull out his phone and figure out a route using Google Maps satellite layer. And he did this while riding, one handed through paths barely fatter than our tires that zigzagged every which way for 10 minutes at a stretch. It worked for the most part. There was one time we were zipping out a paved path between two mountains that ended at an impasse.

Thanks, Jake….

-When the guys got back from the waterfalls, they came loaded with electrolytes and more antibiotics. I was bummed I missed the day but glad they were able to bring back pics and stories. I joined in for dinner but the only thing i could stomach was rice and electrolyte ladened water. I left the group to their bottle of corn wine and went to bed.

Day 6: Quảng Uyên to Ba Bể Lake

-This morning the local swine and water buffalo decided to join in with chorus of roosters, but I was happy to wake up feverless. My bowels had dried up, but the nausea still hung on. All that matters is that I knew I was good enough to ride. The guys were thrilled when I told them the news. The host cooked us eggs and provided ample bread and instant coffee but all I could stomach was dipping some bread into sweetened condensed milk. I felt neutered not having my usual appetite.

-Tan sent us out to explore another market, but I was all market-ed out. The fresh fish and meat section in particular was very unsettling to my gut. One thing I have not pointed out yet is the abundance of food. Cheap food. Whether village or city, there are so many options to get fresh produce, a snack, or a hot cooked meal for less than a dollar. Most streets were lined with all kinds of food options where you sat on the smallest stools to scarf down you meal then move on.

-I was ecstatic to get out of this town, though I was not pumped to have to put my rain gear on. We rode back through the city of Cao Bằng, and the skies opened up on us just as we got into the mountain roads. Thankfully these were manicured well. The rain stopped by the time we got lunch. All of us were thankful to get out of our rain gear. The rest of the ride was more great roads running along rivers with jungle canopies.

-After a long day we finally came to Ba Bể Lake. What a sight. Tan told us this is the largest naturally occurring lake in Vietnam. We took the long way around to the village of Pác Ngòi and to our surprise ran into the Aussies from our first night. They were about to go on a boat ride in the Lake and invited us. We gladly accepted the invite then rolled up to the Hoành Tứ homstay and tore off our gear in anticipation of making the boat. Jake grabbed some beers (good call buddy), and soon we were walking along the lake road with the Aussies. They wasted no time in busting my balls over me going down.  

-We boarded a motor boat and were ushered out onto the lake. I’ll let the pics below do most of the work describing the views. We put beers back and shared stories with our down under companions. They had a solid week as well. Off along the shores the evening fisherman were out pulling todays catches in. Finally the boat ride came to an end and while pulling the boat back to shore, Aussie Dave got his hand stuck between two boats and won himself a motorbike ride to the local doctor for stitches of his own. He yelled something about not being out done by the American Cunts, and that was the last we saw of him.

-After the walk back to the homestay we wished our Australian friends farewell and relaxed, waiting for dinner. One of us realized this is our last night for this portion of the trip, and a bittersweet feeling overcame all of us. The call to dinner came, and we sat around the table with the family for our last family style meal of this trip. My appetite still needed time to return to 100%, but I did my best trying a small portion of all that was offered. I even threw down a Một, hai, ba, dzô! or two. Tan told us we had a very long day tomorrow so we will need to be on the road early. Jake and I fought our mosquito nets while Radke laughed at our struggle. Eventually it was all sorted out, and we were out cold.  

Day 7: Ba Bể Lake to Hanoi

-You know what? I’m gonna miss those fucking roosters. I layed in bed reflecting on the last few days coming to peace with their incessant crowing. Maybe it was the croaking of the bullfrogs that kept me calm? We were up early and had crepes, bananas, banana fritters, honey, and instant coffee then packed up the bikes and headed off.

-Right away we gained a lot of elevation and thanks to the early morning fog, we had limited visibility. I was shocked at how high we climbed cause I knew we’d be coming down soon the closer we got to Hanoi.

-Slowly we did descend and surprisingly quick the scenery began to grow more urban. More and more people began to share the roads with us. By the time went hit the city of Thái Nguyên it was apparent that our two wheeled Shangri La ride was officially over. We stopped here for some Phở bò and posed for pictures that the proprietors insisted on taking of us.

-Forty km’s south of more and more congestion. After crossing the Nhật Tân Bridge the familiar sight of Hanoi faced us. Tan took no liberties racing and zig zagging through the city traffic. We all got split up easily and having the bluetooths allowed us to stay in contact. Eventually we ended at the same spot we began. Sad that it was over but thoroughly psyched that we had accomplished what we had set out to do. All of us alive and well with nothing but great memories, maybe a scar. Hopefully a scar. We walked back to the shop and got one last pic with Tan. This trip would have been a totally different beast without him. We couldn’t have asked for a better guide. Such an awesome dude. We could not thank him enough. After wishing him well we crawled back to our Airbnb in the Old Town for much needed showers.

 Stay tuned for scooters in Hội An….

Part 2: Hà Giang to Cao Bằng

Day Three: Hà Giang to Mèo Vạc

-Roosters. Fuck em. See part one. I could not fall back asleep so I joined Radke to watch the sun rise. We couldn’t have asked for a more tranquil morning. Breakfast was many instant coffees, and instant noodles loaded with fresh local veggies and a fried egg. College kid raman on steroids. Jake and I took the opportunity to try smoking thuốc lào (Laotian tobacco) out of a traditional điếu cày (bamboo water pipe). Its customary everywhere to see the men wake up and smoke in the morning with their tea. It was interesting but I’ll stick to the cheap ass cigarettes. Speaking of cheap, we’re talking $.75-$1.50 a pack and everybody smokes.

-Bellies full, we loaded up our gear and hit the road. Our guide let us know that the next few days was gonna be the real mind blowing scenery. Hà Giang is known for its epic views and is not as full of trucked in tourists the way Sa Pả is. Though in recent years it has been picking up steam as a trekkers destination. We rode in through the city of Hà Giang passing by a buddhist funeral procession. Everyone marching in the streets following the hearse, wearing white headbands and throwing offerings (photo copied $100 greenbacks and large note Dong’s) on the street. Very cool to see this first hand.

-Not far out of the city we veered off into the mountains climbing elevation with lightning speed. Stopping to overlook a dam and take in what is only the beginning of the constant breathtaking views. The paved road soon became a rutted, gravelly mess still full of traffic. Sheer drops of doom lined the side of the road. Tan took the liberty of pushing us at speeds that in hindsight I shouldn’t have been taken. Right away I came around a tight right switchback and target fixated coming very close to the edge. This shook my confidence and put the fear in me. I was not feeling this track at this speed. Very little room for error. I ended up riding slower from the group and fell behind. After coming to a pretty gravelly straight away I opened up the throttle a little too hard and my rear washed out. Down I went. Thankfully we were using our bluetooth intercoms and the guys were not out of range (side note: I cannot recommend bluetooth intercom enough. Too many times it has saved our asses and just provided a more enriched riding experience. I will not travel without it). My leg was pinned under the bike and all I could feel was extreme pain in my knee. Instant regret washed over me for not having knee protection. All I could think of was I ruined our trip with my stupidity. The guys came back and I was able to get my leg free and away from the bike to assess the damage. My knee was tore up pretty badly, down to the knee cap. I was gonna need stitches ASAP. Jake being the ever prepared dude had a first aid kit on hand. We wrapped up my knee, using a local women’s razor sharp sickle to cut the tape, and popped some aspirin.  Then rode 45 min to an hour all the way back to Hà Giang on the same road that I left some skin on. This time at a snail’s pace.

-We arrived at the hospital and I was taken back right away. I cannot thank Tan enough for being there cause no one spoke a lick of English. With in an hour I had my wound clean, 2 stitches, and a tetanus shot for the whopping price of 300,000 dong ($15) paid in cash directly to the doctor. I hobbled out of the hospital and we grabbed lunch then got antibiotics, anti inflammatories, gauze, and medical tape from a local pharmacy and hit the road. No prescriptions needed here. Just tell the pharmacist what your issue is. It was a long haul today and the ride is insanely twisty plus now we have to make up lost time.

-I bent my rear brake pedal so I had to lift my leg up to utilize it which caused some serious pain with each brake. I ended up engine braking for most of the ride that day which provided a unique challenge. The road was pure insanity. A motorcyclist’s dream. Jake, again, sums it up beautifully “Everyday on the road was breathtakingly gorgeous. I could not capture the beauty of Northern Vietnam’s mountains with my camera. As a motorcyclist, I can’t imagine better twisties. Imagine the Tail of the Dragon, only going on for hundreds of miles with more elevation changes. And that’s just the paved roads… We passed scooters, cars, busses, even semis up narrow mountain passes, with ankle height “guardrails” next to cliffs that dropped near vertically. We needed to keep our eyes on the road at all times, but how can you, surrounded by so much natural beauty?” Radke noticed that the full big rigs had a system jerry rigged to provide water to the brakes. It was actually pretty ingenious cause without such system there would be failing brakes and runaway trucks everywhere. Not a runaway truck ramp in sight. Logistically it would not be possible with how the roads clung to the sides of the mountains.

-Hours we rode. In and out of towns, peak to peak, fall and climb over and over again. The landscape constantly changing from pine forests to extra terrestrial rocky terrain, and everything in between. Never truly alone as there were villages and people everywhere. These lands occupied for thousands of years. It was wild to see how the people and dress changed as well. Northern Vietnam is full of many ethnic tribes such as the Mường, H’Mông, Nùng, Dao, and Tày. All with unique cultures, languages, and fashions existing in harmony with these rugged lands.  Nothing like any of us have experienced in the states. I hate to beat a dead horse using the word epic but what we saw was nothing but that. Fucking epic, awesome, and overwhelmingly beautiful.

-The temps dropped soon and for the first time since getting here we were feeling cold. I was worried we were gonna be riding in the dark and these are not roads you want to ride in the dark on. Finally we crested a peak, whipped a left switchback, and could see the town of Mèo Vạc sitting in the valley below. It was more like a very small city in the clouds. Lots of multi story hotels and buildings. This was the only time we stayed in a hotel. Directly across the hotel was a public area that had a constant barrage of insanely loud talking and music. I figured it was propaganda but Tan informed us it was just the radio. Ha!

-After settling in we ate dinner at a local shop (rice, veggies, and pork belly if i recall correctly) then all got much needed showers. Exhausted from all the drama of the day we soon passed out.

Day 4: Mèo Vạc to Quảng Uyên

-Even in the cites I could hear those insufferable fowls crowing in the distance. For a hotel these were the most uncomfortable bed’s any of us slept on. Radke or Jake checked to make sure that the mattress wasn’t solid wood or concrete. Surprisingly my knee wasn’t hurting too bad though my pimp strut was now in full effect. I did wake up full of fluid in my head and panicking thinking an infection was setting in, I began to whine. Thankfully the guys called me on being a pussy and I manned up, knowing they were right. Unfortunately the fluid in my head made the constant elevation changes of the day pretty annoying.

-We had Phở bò for breakfast from the same shop we had dinner at. There were a few other off road tours there as well. Turns out Mèo Vạc is a pretty popular stop over for the off road tour scene. The one group was doing it on Urials. Sidecars and all. We then put back 2 cà phê sữa đá’s at a street side cafe. Tan sent us off to explore the Sunday market while he went and fixed the couple of issues with my XR from yesterday’s spill, and general maintenance on the other bikes.

-What a sight to behold at this market! First and foremost the size of the people of this region is tiny. I mean you would have to be to well adapted to living in such high altitudes. The average person came up to our waists. At first I was concerned we would lose each other in the melay of the market but Radke pointed out that you could pick us out from 100 meters away due to how we towered over the locals (majority of them being The H’Mông peoples). Stature aside these are tough people. I saw old woman carrying loads that would make a full grown man in the states cry.

-Tan had the bikes ready to go and my rear brake was operational again. I was very thankful for that cause with these roads its an imperative part of the bike. He led us 10km in the opposite direction to the Sky Garden Mã Pì Lèng. Holy Fuck! What a view. The Nho Quế River cuts through the mountains, carving out the most awe inspiring cliffs. Straight out of a Tolkien novel but with Southeast Asian flare. Pics can’t ever grab the grandeur of this overlook. I love large scale geological formations because it makes you realize how small and insignificant you really are in the grand scheme. It’s humbling in the best way possible.

-Back tracking through Mèo Vạc, we continued on and on. More mountains, more twists, more wonder. We noticed that our elevation had slowly began to descend as the climate was warmer and the vegetation more jungle-esque. We rode alongside a river for a very long time. It was at this point we really noticed that we stood out big time. It was almost as if we were celebrities. Tons of waves and hellos from all ages, but especially children. According to Tan the modern dirt bikes just made it to Vietnam 5-10 years ago so when isolated locals see these bikes they stand apart from their usual scooters. Everywhere we stopped there were locals sitting on our bikes and checking them out. I have never met a more friendly and welcoming people. Always willing to share and include you. They loved to say Hello in English (vs the Viet “xin chào”) and wanted to know where we are from. Most general communication was manageable and we tried our best to speak in what little Vietnamese we had picked up along the way. The people are a simple people who want what everyone across the world wants. Happiness, family, friends, laughter, love, and security. Despite the fact we are from different sides of the planet and our cultures are diametrically different, we are all at our core all Humans with the same needs and wants. Again the word humbling comes to mind.

-We stopped for lunch in the town of Bảo Lạc. It was a beef stir fried rice topped with a fried egg accompanied by a side of pickled cabbage soup and fresh cucumbers. I washed it down with some Passion Fruit (Nước chanh dây), my juice of choice on this trip. While grabbing coffee’s next door the woman working there told me how handsome I was. Tan had to translate the words but her smile communicated it just fine. I gave her a “cảm ơn” and smile back. See motherfuckers, even on the other side of the planet women can appreciate a damn fine looking specimen of manliness. Told you so Ed.

– Today was a long day and Radke and I were feeling it. Riding side saddle for many km became the norm. We finally descended from the mountains and rode through the city of Cao Bằng, the capital of the Cao Bằng province. Our journey did not stop here though. We had to ride another 40km to the town of Quảng Uyên. This was the closest place to stay to see the Bản Giốc waterfalls. Soon we regained the elevation we lost coming into Cao Bằng. We rolled up to the Kiều Chinh Homestay, our homebase for the next two nights. This homestay was a little more rustic and not as posh as the last two we stayed in but the views from the backyard were something else. After settling in it was not long until the family style dinner came out followed buy a bottle of corn liquor. A few “Một, hai, ba, dzô!’s” and a couple of “Chúc sức khoẻ!’s” (happy health!) later I crawled into bed to let Radke and Jake finish the bottle of corn swill. Excited to see the main thing I came here for, the Bản Giốc waterfall and to skirt the edge of the Chinese border.

oh there’s more yet…

Part 1:  Hanoi to Ha Giang

Jake, Radke, and I decided to visit the 2 wheel mecca of Vietnam. Most of my vacations all center around some sort of 2 wheel adventure and Vietnam always comes in at the top of everyone’s lists. I’ve taken to seeing it as a motorcyclists Hajj, if you will. I had no problem convincing those two on joining me back when I posed the idea in December. Jake and I would be flying together and meeting Radke in Hanoi since he’s currently living in Honolulu. Within 3 short months we found ourselves on the other side of the planet completely unaware of the absolute splendor and excitement we were about to experience.

The trip was split up into a few legs but the majority was centered around a 7 day dirt bike adventure through the north of the country. We used a Hanoi company called OffRoad Vietnam to rent 3 XR250’s and a guide. Opting for a semi guided tour giving us the freedom and mobility to go wherever we wanted vs the rigid fully guided tour package they offer.

I am going to break this post up into a few entries as there is almost too much to publish. Trying to sum up this trip into a few posts is even a tough challenge. I’ll do my best at trying to convey the onslaught experienced to our senses and minds.   

 Pre Ride Hanoi exploration

-Before the bike trip we explored 2 days in Hanoi taking in all the sights and sounds that this amazing city has to offer. I could try and sum it up but Jake so eloquently nailed the hustle of Hanoi: “City Life in Vietnam is an example of emergent order from chaos. Lanes, traffic lights, even the roads and sidewalks themselves are mere suggestions on where and how to walk and drive. The main thing is to go with the flow….” We were told its a river and though it seems to make no sense to the observer, when you are a participant in the traffic it all works beautifully. They lack stop signs and redlights. When you get to an intersection you just make your way through and don’t hit anyone. There is a level of trust and cooperation that just would fall flat here in the states.

-Two wheels everywhere. While the majority of the country are on scooters you do see many motorcycles. The bike of choice here is the Honda Win 125cc but we saw Sportsters, Super Dukes, Ducati’s, Minsk’s, Triumphs, no name’s, Chinese Knock Offs,  and more then plenty of single cylinder sport bikes.

-These people are amazing at what they can haul on a bike. You name it they are carrying it. Dead pigs, washing machines, loads of bamboo or sugar kane, construction equipment, hell even other scooters, etc…. It was not out of the ordinary to see a family of 5 on a small 150cc scooter zig zagging in and out of the constant flow of traffic. Children as young as infants on their parents laps. From birth you are primed for the 2 wheel river of chaos.

-Communication is all done with your horn. The constant honking of horns becomes a natural part of the aural landscape and blends in to become just another buzz in the constant hum of this amazing city.  Sometimes oncoming traffic will flash their lights at you but DO NOT take this to mean what we in the states think it means. This means “I am coming, get the fuck outta my way” and not our interpretation of “hey buddy, you go ahead”.  

 Day One: Hanoi to Thác Bà Lake

-We were up way too early thanks to jet lag and anticipation of getting on the bikes. At 8:30 we hiked across town with all our gear and found 3 XR250’s and our guide, Tan, waiting for us. He would be doing the tour on a newer XR150. We met a group of Aussies that too were heading north with but with another guide. After some small talk we headed to our bikes. Not much instruction was given and we went over with Tan what we wanted to see and do. By 9 we had our gear strapped on and were finally full participants in the chaotic river of Hanoi traffic. Once you are in the flow of things the ride just makes sense. I kept comparing it to Mid Ohio Rules.

-It wasn’t long before the city began to fade behind us as we wound along the Red River. We had to make a small stop cause my bike was popping pretty hard. Tan got out his tools and adjusted my carb as it was running lean. Soon the XR was purring and off we went.

-Tan took us off road right away and we rode a single track that ran parallel to the main road. Eventually we ended back on asphalt.

-Lunch was a stop in Phú Thọ for a fried chicken and veggies meal. Eating fresh delicious food for pennies is one of the biggest benefits of visiting here.

-With the urban sprawl long in our rear view mirrors, Tan took us deep into the countryside. The asphalt road soon became a very small concrete road that winded in and out through rice paddies. Small limestone mountains began to sprout everywhere and the red/brown of the Red River soon become an vibrant emerald green. It wasn’t long until the fields and roads were full of Water Buffalos, the Beast of Burden du jour in Vietnam.

-Towards the end of the day Tan took us off road again along single tracks splitting rice paddies with a few small water crossings. Finally we emerged on the shore of Thác Bà Lake. All three of us completely dumbfounded in the sights we took in in just one day.

-With the sun setting fast Tan led us to our lodging for the night. The VuLinh Family-Homestay. If you are not familiar with what a homestay is, its exactly like it sounds. Your accommodations are with a local family and you are provided dinner and breakfast with your lodging. Our host, Nam, was very enthusiastic to have us there. Our sleeping quarters were in an ethnic stilt house. Mattress on the floor and mosquito nets to keep us protected. The Aussies we met this morning had beat us to the homestay. After getting out of our gear we cracked open some Bia Hanoi’s and got to know everyone sharing nothing but bike stories. Turns out we all do a lot of dumb shit no matter what part of the world we are in.  Taking in the epic scenery surrounding the local village area I knew this was going to be a mind blowing 7 days. Quick note on connectivity here. Everywhere has wifi and everyone is willing to share it without any issues. I felt more connected in the wilds of Vietnam then I do living at home.

-Dinner was a large family style event. So much food, all local and fresh. Even fresh fish from the lake. With every dinner comes out a homemade rice wine. Some stronger than others depending on the distiller. Here we learned the Vietnamese tradition of taking down drinks, which you must do when offered as it is considered rude to not drink. With every drink you scream “Một, hai, ba, dzô!” which is Vietnamese for “1, 2, 3, in!”. The Aussies in pure Aussie fashion were pretty lit up on Bia’s before even getting to dinner (we found out later they had 56) so with the shots of rice wine things got a little loose. We soon were getting cunts, facking cockheads, mates, and other Austrailian terms of endearment thrown our way. With names like Sharpie and Digger you couldn’t help but revel in all the down under frenzy surrounding us. These guys were too much fun. Our host Nam was not to be out down either! His english got worse the more he drank but the one thing he could say very clearly was “I am very drunk”. The three of us snuck off to find our beds cause we knew if the Aussies had anything to do with it we’d be way to hungover for our own good in the morning.

Day Two: Thác Bà Lake to Hà Giang

-Fuck roosters. Fuck those fucking fucks. Every rooster in the entire village all start crowing at 4 am on the dot. No guilt in eating chicken after this trip. It will be eaten with pleasure. Breakfast was served at sun up. Fresh homemade crepes with local papaya, bananas, honey, and coffee. The classic Vietnamese iced coffee (cà phê sữa đá) was not as available up here but the instant coffee that is everywhere in these rural regions was pretty damn good and hit the spot. As expected the Aussies were hurting and running a lot slower than us.

-We packed and got pics w/ the family. After thanking everyone and wishing well to all, the four of us were on the road again. Tan took us all around the lake and across a very old suspension bridge. The lake road soon began to climb up into the mountains and the peaks grew ever higher and higher. The roadside was covered in drying wood. Tan explained to us that its wood that is sent off to china to become plywood. Jake and I were dead set it was bamboo but Radke was sure it wasn’t so we put a little wager on it. We stopped at a processing facility and Radke came out 20,000 dong richer.

-As you ride you go in and out of towns and villages. No stop signs, no yields. Just constant movement. Tan took us on some pretty rad single tracks outside the villages. The dirt in this area is a red clay and when its wet its crazy easy to get super squirrelly. After a solid lunch of Water buffalo, veggies, and rice, Tan decided to take us off road again. He wasn’t sure where the track was but when he found it, he found what was easily my favorite part of riding on this trip. We rode off road for hours and kept getting deeper and deeper in the countryside. We crossed a small river and wound in and out of more villages. The best part is no matter how deep you got or how rutted the roads you still ran into plenty of people making their way on the local small 150cc scooters.

-We came to a large river crossing with a hand built bamboo bridge. This was an undiscovered surprise for Tan and his excitement got us pumped. We paid the 5000 dong each to farmer collecting tolls to cross and one at a time rode across the sketchiest bridge we have ever ridden. After relaxing for a bit on the other side we faced more deep rutted track until we came out to a main road again.

-At this point we jammed towards the city of Ha Giang making our way to the village of Phương Độ. When traffic become congested we just passed at will. Lines are merely suggested. Tonights lodging would be at Cay’s Homestay in Phương Độ, an idyllic little farming village full of the traditional stilt houses. We took a sunset stroll to watch the sun fall behind the breathtaking mountains that stood like monstrous shark teeth. Back at the homestay dinner was just like last night. Family style drenched in rice wine shots. After a day like today, sleep was a breeze.

 

to be continued….

The planned trip was to OC, MD for couple days in the sun with my family culminating with the eclipse. Having done a few trips to OC, I knew I wanted to avoid the usual beach traffic on DE1 and 113. Firstly, book your ride in advance cause the spots sell out quick. I grabbed my ticket the night before ($39 for the bike and myself) since the slots were very limited for vehicles. I got the last ticket on the 10AM boat. After that it was all sold out till 3:30PM and later.

I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect morning to ride to Cape May. No traffic, blue skies, and the perfect temps. They ask you arrive at least a half hour early. True to my form, I was an hour early. The woman at the gate informed me that bikes are first on, first off. Solid perk. I parked in the lineup lane that I was instructed to go to and then familiarized myself with the provided amenities in the terminal. In typical NJ fashion everything was overpriced and done in poor cheap suburbanite taste but they have a shitty free mini golf course! The ferry arrived on time and the attendant slobbered over the KZ while he checked me in. Catching old dudes left and right. On the boat I was surprised that all the ferry men wanted was they bike lined up sideways to the cars, on the kick stand with only a large chock under the front wheel. No securing or strapping whatsoever. I was a bit reluctant but figured the ferry men knew best.

The boat itself is 3 decks. The first deck is the vehicle’s, second is a large interior section with more overpriced and shitty food, and the 3rd Deck is wide open with bar and lounge chairs. 3rd deck it was for me. I tend to get sea sick when indoors on a boat and to my surprise the ferry rocked more than I thought it would.

We came into the Lewes, DE port a little over an hour and I was first off as promised.  I hit throttle and ripped to DE1 only to find gridlock more fierce and frustrating than any I’ve dealt with on my other usual route. Thankfully there was a bus lane and large berm that I could use to skirt the god-awful traffic the rest of the way to OC.

My takeaway? Was is a cool experience? Yea of course. Being on a boat rules. Would I  do it again? Nah. Not worth the money, time, and unavoidable traffic. Next time I head down here I am determined to find a route from south of Dover to OC via all back roads.

I recently heard from Philly resident, Josh Laskin, who earlier this summer quit his job and started a cross country adventure on his BMW motorcycle. I think we’ve all thought about what Josh had the balls to do… quit a good job and live on the your motorcycle.

You can follow along with him through his Instagram (Existexpire) or Tumblr.

Here’s what he had to say:

”
Until the moment that I found myself pulling out of the driveway, watching my parents reluctantly wave at me through my rear-view mirror, I was never quite certain that I’d ever make my dream into reality. For the past two years, I had been working as an environmental engineer in a corporate office in the Philadelphia suburbs. In reality, most of my time in that cubicle was spent religiously studying my Clymer manual, reading articles on how four-stroke engines and carburetors work, and looking at maps of the United States, picking possible routes that I could follow for when I decided to get on my motorcycle and go. Instead of coming home at night, cooking dinner, and watching television until it was time to go to bed like most “normal” Americans, I went straight to the garage (often times even before going inside; this is how I ruined a countless amount of khakis and button-up office shirts) and started tinkering with my bike. Usually I ended up making things worse, but I was learning about the bike inside and out, which becomes critical when you find yourself broken down in the desert on the Colorado/Utah state line. Everything had to be perfect for my hypothetical trip out west. Three months, two random jobs, and eight thousand miles later, I’m still out here, living a frugal lifestyle with nothing more to call my home than two wheels and a thin piece of nylon to sleep under. The freedom that I’ve given myself by eliminating schedules, deadlines, and a final destination from my life is like nothing that I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve learned more about the world and myself in the past few months than I ever could have from behind my computer screen, and that’s worth more to me than anything money can buy.
”

Gentlemen-

I received a letter from Dan Cotterpin this week. It was postmarked from Cedar Rapids, Indiana. The return address was “Floating VesselI Mallard Chevy 350, V8”

I took a photo for you, but thought I would write it our for all to read. Enjoy it. I know I did.

“Dear Ben-

The speedometer died today, but thats ok. Thats not how you operate this thing anyway. You drive it with your ears, every crash and bank could be the wheels coming out from beneath you. And you nose, because every hot whiff of something burning is a quick look to the rear view to see if your full of smoke. Blood shot eyes and 10 white knuckles wrapped around the wheels, neck and foot all the way down the gas’s throat with your gut in the gearbox grinding organs and your heart pumping like a piston. Kelly is lighting me cigarettes with both hands because I drink em’ down in one drag spitting them out the window with the next breath. blood boiling through bulging veins like over pressured oil lines, you don’t know your teeth have been grinding until their already dust. Im the slowest thing on the read but if your not fixing to drive all night you better stay the fuck out of my way. I can’t stop because this thing only has so many starts left in it, and I can relate.

It may sound like a roller coaster but its more like driving a rubix cube.

Love Dan

P.s. Feel free to share this letter with the boys.”

Photos by Alex and myself.

Day 1:
Met up at Ben’s garage and then raced out of the city to make it to the Red Rabbit drive-in just before it closed. Setup camp at our favorite Duncannon camp spot from previous COTT trips along the Susquehanna River. Route 322 through Duncannon is basically a trucker spot and has more strip clubs than you’d think. We tried them all out and ended by getting kicked out of the last stop because somebody couldn’t keep there hands to themselves. Ended the night by the fire with Ed drinking my whiskey and becoming agro Dad… then made the post below which he didn’t remember the next morning. haha dick.

Day 2:
Woke up on the Susquehanna and had the first river bath of the vacation. Packed up and headed West on 274 towards Raystown Lake. Only did 100 miles but it took us all day which was fine when there’s no real plan. Went through Orbisonia, PA and checked out the old trolley cars and steam trains from the Industrial Revolution. Finally made it to Raystown and parked the bikes in the woods and went on foot searching for a cliff jumping spot Ed knew of. Ed showed everyone up by diving off the 40′ cliff.

Day 3:
Woke up on Raystown Lake. Andrew and Devyn arrived overnight and somehow didn’t wake anybody. Devyn slept in the tent without poles haha. Headed out to the local diner for food and to figure-out the days plan. Decided on going to check out a blue hole that I knew of from back when I lived in State College, PA. It turned out to epic as I remembered with a 35’/40′ and 25′ cliff jumps and clear water that has this wild blue/green hue. After wearing ourselves out swimming we heading towards the closest town and walked in the first bar we found. Cheap beers, a jukebox, and some local characters made for a fun time. Finished the day with a ‘family’ dinner at Burger King.

Day 4:
Slept in after staying up late and night swimming when the lake was like glass. That morning we split ways with Devyn, Andrew, and Alex who were heading back to Philly. Ben and I took off for The PA Grand Canyon. Again, tons more miles of great roads all the way there. Made it to Wellsboro, PA where we had a drink at the Penn Wells Hotel which was built in 1869. Charged up our phones and got some recommendations of places to go from some other people at the bar. Checked out the view from the Grand Canyon and setup camp in the State park.

Day 5:

Last day of the trip. Woke up with some coffee and split our last beer and hit the road towards Bloomsburg to check out a cycle museum a guy at the bar recommended yesterday. More fun roads with nobody on them all the way to Bills Bike Barn only to find out they were closed. Fortunately, Bill pulled up in his Willy’s Jeep and Ben talked him into letting us check out a portion of the museum. The guy has some real gems like a Moto Guzzi Lemans 1 in mint condition and a Moto Guzzi dump truck powered by a single cylinder motor.

The loose plan is head out to the Raystown Lake area to ride some country roads, find swimming holes, drink beers in bumble fuck bars, eat at Mom & Pop diners, and basically enjoy PA on our old motorcycles.

Our first stop is: Duncannon, PA.

Trying to pack pretty light.

Looking forward to spending some time on my 550.

Lake Ontario

Thanks to Lanes for setting up Tom with a new cable!

Loudest vehicle in the Adirondacks

I won’t single out anyone specific but we had a few impromptu roadside repair sessions…

30 some miles of dirt.

Everyone should own a bivy sack

Helldiver Pond

Camp Renegade

Trip was awesome. The 3 of us left Philly for 10 days and 1900 miles trip north toward Arcadia National Park. My Guzzi was hit last year and mothballed for 15 months. I gave myself a week to fix it before the trip. Brian blew-up his engine a month ago, and had to rebuild it right before the trip. 3 old as shit bikes, what could go wrong by driving to Maine, right? Nothing! Bikes were F’ing champs! We had a few oil leaks, a broken clutch cable, and Andrew’s spaghetti wiring fried out a bit but they all made. We went to the Finger Lakes, Adirondacks, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Acadia Maine before heading back to Philadelphia.

– after leaving put in bay, we headed east towards Pittsburgh

– trip is basically over. Nothing to see in ohio because Ohio is one of the worst states

– an old good friend and roommate from college named Justin is from there

– over the past 9 years we lost touch a bit and I didn’t have his contact info anymore

– but I remembered where his parents lived

– we rode into the city and stopped at his parents to ask where Justin was living these days. Ironically Justin was there visiting his parents

– so we crashed with him for the night and caught up. Good times

So… Lake Erie is fucking gross.

Bacteria levels so high it’s unsafe for people to swim in it. Fuck it though… We swam anyway. So we officially swam in all 5 Great Lakes.

In Ohio we kept seeing signs for something called “put in bay”. I had no clue what it was.

After swimming in the gross lake, as I was drying off, I asked some old lady what put in bay was… She said it was the name of an island in the middle of Lake Erie and it was cool with lots of bars and young people and that you had to take a ferry and it was leaving in 10 mins…

So… On a impulse decision we hopped the ferry on the cycles and ended up on this island.

It was nuts.
Someone referred to it as “key west of the mid west”.

Basically it was dude bro central and everyone was looking to get drunk and get laid.

Lots of old guys who looked like they were looking to have affairs and stuff. Weird.

So we camped that night there.

Yea we drank too much in Milwaukee trying to make the post from yesterday…

Milwaukee is wayyyy cooler than Green Bay. Green Bay can suck a dick.

So… We did stuff.

Hangover pending… we’ll update tomorrow.

So we met a 21yr old dude named Blake from this little town here called Christmas. Super nice dude.

He camped with us the other night. He’s a local here at pictured rocks.

He showed us some badass shit.

He said he used to swim distance competitively… And would swim from island to island here which is like 5 miles and can hold his breath for 3 mins.

He told us a story about him ice fishing and he fell through the ice and the current in Lake Superior was so strong he couldn’t pop out the hole he fell through… So he had to swim under the ice to the next hole he could find and popped out there and he thought he was gonna die. So f-ing nuts.

He showed us a spot called “paradise” which is rock jumping spots off of the shoreline. We probably swam 3/4 of a mile in Lake Superior. It was gnarly. The sandstone rips you apart like a electric sander if you hit it wrong. It caught me a couple times.

Also ate fresh blueberries.

Then he took us to one of his fishing holes and we fished for 3 hours.

I dunno about you… But I do not have patience for fishing. It was cool this one time as a novelty thing but overall… It’s not for me.

– we made our way to pictured rocks which is a national park which borders the south end of Lake Superior.

– crazy 300 ft tall cliffs that go down into the lake

– water is insane crystal clear

– hung out and took a mid day nap at a corner store

– got pasties for dinner

– a “pasty” is similar to a meat pot pie that is enclosed on all sides… It’s okay. It’s their big thing up here I guess

– we camped at some random spot on the lake. Met a dude named Blake who is a local and he’s showing us some rad shit tomorrow

– woke up on the beach and a maintenance guy called the cops on us but cops never came

– headed north back over the 5 mile mackinaw bridge towards pictured rocks national lakeshore in the upper peninsula of Michigan.

– mackinaw city is a horrible tourist trap. Never go there

– we were served lunch by a dead lady who charged us to plug our phones into the outlet to charge them. Lame

– lazy day of riding

– met a church pastor with a sweet 82 Goldwing

– we swam in Lake Superior. Cold as shit

– napped on beach

– we met some cool girls from Detroit. We camped with them

– got boozed up on the beach till 2am

‘Where the men are men and so are the women’. – guy at the lunch spot stop.

We tried to get up and out of Leno’s place before he got up and pulled another wild card on us. It was a 3 mile dirt road back to a real road.

We crossed the border and rode a boring straight highway to Mackinac. We ripped 3 wide on the highway doing a 100mph for miles without seeing other cars. Crossed over the 5 mike long bridge which is mainly metal grate… Sketchy feeling but pretty rad.

In Macinaw Ed asked a guy where all the babes in bikinis are and he laughed and told us that they’re all corn fed women here.

So we found a beach drank our whiskey and then setup camp and went swimming. We had a good laugh about the previous night and were happy to sleep easy tonight.

Things got real weird last night…

Real weird.

We met some random old dude named Leno on a harley at a strip club. He told us we could camp at his place… So we took him up on it. His place was on a bad ass lake.

He’s basically bi-polar.

We show up at his place and he was drunk and stoned.

Things started off fine. We were boozing by the fire.

Then he told us he’s not allowed in America anymore.

Then he was telling us about his previous motorcycles and got real mad when we started asking questions about his bikes.

Then it got extra weird.

He got mad at Adam and said “don’t fucking disrespect me” and basically got real mad at us and made it seem like he wanted to fight us. He was ready to punch adam no lie… We did nothing to provoke him I swear.

Talk about awkward.

We talked him down and then instantly he seemed like it never happened and got happy and gitty again.

In the morning we peaced out.

We did other stuff earlier that day but its not worth over-explaining like:
– fixing Ryan’s bike
– eating ice cream by lake
– worst strip club ever
– McDonald’s dinner

We woke up at 5:45am on the Georgian Bay to rain and heavy wind. Ed’s rain fly ripped in the wind so he wasn’t a happy camper. We were up early to catch the ferry to Manatouin island which we just made.

It pretty much rained off and on the entire day so we didn’t make it far. We found a little bar and hungout so Ed could sew and glue his tent back together.

Decided to find camp spot and wait out the rain. I once heard that a graveyard is always an easy renegade spot because nobody hangs out in a graveyard at night. Well that was wrong cause we watched a dude dig a grave by hand in the rain until dark. That was creepy. That prompted us to take a hike into the woods were we finished a fifth of whiskey and checked these rad water rapids.

Shitty weather but turned out to be a fun day.