Stolen Bike – FOUND!

**Update – Mike got it back from the ghetto kids for $75. They painted it blue and put a bunch of Monster stickers on it, ha.

– – 1978 dt175 was stolen last night from out front of his house right around 2nd and Tasker st.

Give him a call or text if you hear anything or see anyone with it that’s not Mike. 908.507.4935 or email:

Pretty easy to spot an all red older DT. Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if whoever stole it paints the whole thing black… just saying.

It’s legit registered in his name. License plate and everything.

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5 responses to “Stolen Bike – FOUND!”

  1. amar says:

    how did mike find the bike? Criagslist?

  2. Mike K. says:

    So this is how it went down.

    Thursday night some little sketchy South Philly kid knocked on my door and asked my girlfriend if we had a bike stolen, I wasn’t home at the time. She told him yes and he said something along the lines of “I kneoow whur it is, and I seen it was stolen” (in the shittiest ‘hoagie mouth’ Philly accent obviously). He said that he had bought it off of some kids on 5th St. and then saw my Craigslist post and wanted to give it back. So he left her his phone number and the temporary registration that I had folded up in the tool box to prove he had it, I guess. He told her his name was John. As soon as he left a neighbor we’ve hardly ever spoken to, came over and warned Kate that that kid is a local scum bag and has been around the neighborhood for years. Also, his real name is Derrick. I called him the next day to see what was up and his story was a bit different. He told me that he had bought it from the same kids, but then took it into South Philly Cycles to get some grips and parts. I had stopped in and let them know it was stolen weeks ago, so they recognized it and told him he needed to give it back. So I told this little shit bag I’d meet him Friday afternoon to pick it up to which he said “Well I ain’t juss given yeou yerr bike back, I paid 150 for it and I got a kid man.” (again his voice alone made we want to kick him in the dick). So based on the fact that he had already been to our house, and my lady didn’t want me to make any trouble with the local dirt bag, I told him I’d give him $75 which I had offered as a reward. I let him know I was pretty confident he was the one who stole it and I was aware he was playing me. I just wanted the bike back. For good measure I brought Kenny along on the pickup as the muscle. We met at his shitty little house on 10th and Snyder and picked it up. He had his baby in his arms the entire time as a defense, I guess. Oh, he was about 5’5 and 100 lbs.

    So I got the bike back with its new hood rat spray paint job, monster energy stickers, “eat my dust pigs” sticker, and of course “Derrick loves Chelsea” sticker on it. So I’m pretty confident Derrick stole the bike, and that he loves Chelsea… who is most likely a jobless fat pathetic loser who wears dirty old sweatpants and a sweaty wife beater every day.. Have fun with her Derrick, I better never see you again.

  3. Steve says:

    Oh man, I can’t wait to use “Hoagie Mouth”.

    Glad you got da bike back. $75 really aint too bad fer a full makeover like dat. Are dem levers painted green? Das awesome. I’d say you gotta heller a deal.

  4. Chris francione says:

    I know where I’m headed on mischief night this October , hey Deeerrrk! Revenge is a dish best served cold!

  5. Adam Fram says:

    I’m happy Mike got his dirtbike back. Although I’ll give Derrick credit for holding his baby during the return transaction; Good call. If I ever become a welfare-abusing crack-addled shithead and start stealing from hard-working stand up dudes, I’ll be sure I have a fat ugly chick’s meth spawn to hide my useless life behind when I get caught like a pussy bitch.

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